Beautiful Morning for a Run

Had my running group this morning and we were blessed with amazing weather.  After weeks of high heat and higher humidity today was perfect.  When we started it was in the 70′s and the humidity was very low.   I was hoping to reach 4 miles but was already telling myself that it was okay if I walked anytime after 3 because I have been feeling so sick this past week.  I managed to go 4 1/2 and I only walked about a 1/4 of a mile up a pretty steep hill. 

I’m a little worried because I upped my mileage this week to over 12 miles when I was only averaging about 5 or 6 over the past 4 weeks.  That seems like a big jump even though the mileage is still low.  So far I feel okay but we will see if it holds up when I do 13 miles next week too.

This week I must register for my upcoming races.  I want to do a 10k in September and 2 5ks in October.  I’ve been a little worried the last couple of weeks that the 10k was going to be a problem.  I feel like 3 miles is the most I can do comfortably.  After today I think I will be fine as long as I don’t get injured.  If I can do 4 1/2 then I can do 5 and if I can do 5 in a couple of weeks then 6 should be no problem in 2 months.  Just don’t get hurt!

Oh I though of another similarity between running and writing.  Both are pretty much available for anyone to try without a huge committment to start.  All it takes to start writing is some sort of writing instrument (pen, paper, computer, etc…) and your own mind.  All it takes to start running are some decent shoes.  As much as a goal is necessary to maintain a high level of satisfaction, just to get started you don’t really need to know where you are going with either.

Thoughts while running last night

While I was running yesterday I realized something.  Running and writing are very similar, at least for me.  If I have a goal, a particular race lined up, then it is very easy for me to go out and run and stick to a workout plan.  I do my slow days on slow days, my tempo days on tempo days and my speed workout when someone makes me.

If I have an assignment of sorts or some goal I’m trying to achieve with writing it comes very easy for me.  I am able to hammer our a report or analysis without a second thought.  I can write a letter, especially an angry one in my sleep.  I love writing angry or outraged letters for some reason, I have a gift for it actually.

But if I’m just running to run, for fitness and health but with no real goal in mind it is a struggle.  Similarly, if I’m trying to write just to write I have a hard time getting it done.  This blog is a good example of that, I have struggled with what to write here because I have no clear goal other than to write.  I need an assignment or a goal.

This weekend I’m going to think long and hard about a writing goal.

Hi-Ho Hi-Ho it’s off to work I go

Things weighing heavily on my mind in no particular order:

1. Do we or don’t we make a semi-major real estate investment?  The Husband and I are considering investing in some vacation property.  It would limit our ability to reach other financial goals as soon as we had hoped but the price is almost too good to ignore and it could turn into a great investment over the long haul.
2. Do I re-commit to my business and get back to work?  this is actually a biggie.  I’m 85% on the side of doing this because I think it would be a good for us over all but there is 15% of me that is resistant because…well because it stopped being fun and I don’t really have to do it.  

             Whiney self-indulgent me says  ”I wanna do something fun and exciting, not boring and mundane.”

             Grownup me responds “But life is what you make of it Chocolate Girl so make it fun and exciting”

             The Husband says “I don’t care just stop whining about being unfulfilled and go get me some tax write-offs” 

3.  I need to lose weight.  There are a whole host of reasons why

I hate the way my body feels

 My doctor told me too last year, I need a physical but I’m afraid to go back to see him when i didn’t do what he told me

 The husband wants us to get a family picture…nuff said

 4.  I want to be good at something.  I want to be exceptionally skilled at something and so far I can’t figure out what that something is.   

So this is what I’m going to do about it:

1. Take a leap and move forward on the real estate thing.  It’s a gamble and might be a wrong move but I’m tired of not making any changes or taking an leaps and this could be a great thing for us or it could be a bust but it won’t break us so why not?
2. Grow up, I’m going to jump in with both feet and work on what I have right now.  I’m sure there are more fun and exciting things out there for me but  at this point in time this is what I have to work with so why not give it my all or at least all that I’m willing to give.  Since it’s not something I have to do, just something that would be good for me to do I can limit how much of myself I want to devote to this business.  That’s a luxury many people don’t have so I need to pull my head out of the dark place it has been residing the last few months and jump back into the game.
3. Seriously???  I really do need a good slap in the back of my head.  I know what needs to be done, it’s not a big mystery.  So I just need to do it!  I’m going to set a really simple basic goal for myself right here and now.  STOP EATING JUNK!  no more candy, no more cookies, and no more soda.  I need to drop 30 pounds to be comfortable in my own body again.  I’ve managed to maintain this weight for over a year by eating tons of crap  so cutting that stuff out should give me a huge jump-start.
4. I’m not sure what to do about this one.  I’ll have to give this some more thought and get back to you on it.

I think I’m going to go for a run and think about all this stuff.  Maybe I can come up with something amazing for #4.

Back in the real world

We are back to normal boring life this week.  I came home to find out that I forgot to return library books and have a $30 fine and a threat that it will go to collections if not paid in 30 days.  When did library fines get so high and when did libraries get so pushy about re-payment?  I once carried a $85 dollar fine for over 6 years!  I’m not suggesting we should be allowed to do that but I think 30 days is a little aggressive.

I managed to run twice while on vacation.  I planned to run 3 times but the last time didn’t happen.  Still, 2 times on vacation in the south during July… in a heat wave is pretty impressive if you ask me.  I’ve also ran twice since being home.  I’m missing running group tonight for a couple of reasons but I’ll make it up tomorrow.

The Husband bought a new bike when we came home.  I’m GREEN with Envy.  Not that I really have the time to ride a bike on a regular basis, if I did I would ride the perfectly good bike I have hanging in the basement.  But I absolutely love buying new cycling gear.  there’s just something about it that’s fun.    I’m glad he’s riding though.  He needs more exercise and a new hobby.

This summer I  had pretty much decided to stop working.  I’m self-employed in an industry that isn’t doing particularly well right now and The Husband started a new job back in the winter that greatly increased his salary so it made sense for me to bail out.  I’m a notorious career changer.  I’ve worked in many different industries, most of which have nothing to do with the very expensive education for which we are still paying.  It comes as no great surprised to anyone that I was getting out.  However, now that summer is coming to an end I’m considering giving it another go. 

While I don’t stay on any particular career path for very long, I haven’t been without a career path at any point in my life since I was 16.  Not knowing what I want to be when I grow up is a little scary for me and I have a really hard time identifying myself as simply a stay at home mom.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being a stay at home mom and my current business was chosen to allow me to primarily stay at home with my children and still earn an income too.  I also have a great deal of envy towards women that are comfortable in that role.  I’ve just been programmed to think that I need to have an income producing label to substantiate who I am as a person.   So right now I am trying to ramp up some motivation to dive back into a business that I had already written off in my mind.  Not an easy task for me so I’ve been plowing through some pretty substantial bags of m&m’s.

“I’m a mom traveling with my children, this isn’t a vacation for me it’s a business trip”

to quote one of my favorite shows Modern Family

Yes, I’m currently on  “vacation” in south carolina.  Traveling with a 2-year-old is an adventure to say the least.  Tonight, he terrorized a waitress so badly I thought she was either going to have us tossed out or she was going to walk off the job and frankly I wouldn’t have blamed her for either one. 

With my older children, I was one of those parents that looked at unruly children and thought “what bad parents, they should have better control over their kids”  now, I’m the one people are looking at and cringing because they know I am a bad parent.  Why else would I let my child pitch his favorite truck across a restaurant multiple times while he screams at the top of his lungs?  If I survive this last one I deserve a medal.

I have managed to run twice so far this week.  I’m a day behind on my 10K training but I feel pretty proud of myself for actually exercising while on vacation.  I’m going to try to get one more run in this week.  I doubt this has done anything to counter act the amazing amounts of food I have been putting away but at least I can say I tried to stay on top of my training.

more about my quest for running greatness

maybe not greatness to some but it’s pretty great for me.  Right now I’m following a very simple 10k training plan to prepare for my first 10k at the end of September.  I also have plans for 2  5ks in October that will only be a week apart.  My last 5k in June was not a great time despite my smart training and implementation of speed work.  In fact, I mostly walked a 5k back in 2005 2 minutes faster than I ran the one this past June.

So my goals are to follow the 10k plan without getting injured, finish the 10k and hopefully by increasing my mileage and training smart I will be able to reduce my 5k time as well for October. 

After october I’m not sure what my plans are.  Part of me wants to keep going and maybe sign up for some more 5ks through the fall and then train for the Cherry Blossom 10 miler in the spring.  That would be a logical next step from a 10k right?  Another part of me wants to just push running to the background, continue to maintain but maybe start focusing on some weight training and maybe spinning indoors so that I could motivate myself to get on the bike again in the spring.   One one hand I don’t want to lose momentum with my new love of running but on the other hand I don’t want to burn out either and I need to start implementing cross training, everyone says it’s important.

I run therefore I am…still not thin

For years and years I have wanted to be a runner.  I just like the idea of being a runner.  Runners have a cool factor about them that I want too.  They seem healthy and energetic and accomplished at something that other people find monumental.

Over the years I have tried to start running from time to time.  Never, until recently has it lasted more than a month or two.  I usually end up in pain somewhere or distracted by life or just too lazy to go on.  Real runners, the cool kind don’t let those things bother them so that’s how I always knew I fell short of being a real runner.

Something changed this past spring.  I hate to jinx it which I will probably do by putting this out in cyberspace but for the first time I feel like a real runner, the cool kind. I’ve been going at it for a few months now and I pushed through all of those things that have stopped me before.  I had shin splints for the first time ever but I worked my way past them, took some rest time off but didn’t consider just throwing in the towel.  I had some crazy stuff going on in life but carved out time to run and insisted the family also just accept that time had to be made.  I did get bored a couple of times but I just told myself to keep going and those runs seemed to be my best because I still made myself finish and then felt like that cool runner at the end.

I’m slow as dirt, I plod along at very short distances right now but I’m doing it and I plan to keep doing it.  My one issue is that I’m still not looking like one of those cool runners that I am relating to mentally.  I can’t say I’m gaining weight but I’m certainly not losing any either.  I know this is a product of diet and not just nightly chocolate fix either.  I’m a total junk food junkie.  I hate cooking, my family prefers junkie processed foods that are easy to prepare and we eat out way too much.

Every morning I wake up and declare today I’m going to start tracking my food on www.sparkpeople.com but then it never lasts past lunch.  Why can’ t my new-found dedication to being a cool runner extend to dedication to being a thin runner? 

I need to lose about 15lbs to get out of the overweight category on the BMI chart.  I would like to lose about 30lbs to feel comfortable in my own body again.  30lbs really doesn’t seem that insurmountable when you watch the biggest loser but it’s really hard to realize when you watch the biggest loser while eating chocolate covered pretzels.